About a love potion. About a life poison.

Oh, how nice of you to give a short reply

of my horrid insanity you found

had terrorized your lungs for as long as I live.

Why now? You grumbled. 

I know I had not been sincere,

I filled your tummy with my secrecy.

You bought it, you never asked anything about it, you said you were okay with it.

Kept spending every time and dime on me.
Then said the magic three words.

It's just a byproduct of your own choice

to self-destruct your plan. Which plan, you ask?

The plan to spend your life loving the one who loves you back.

Oh don't be such a puppy, you knew it's gonna cost so much more.

You knew when it's gone, you want more. You will follow, and it won't stop until the last breath.

And you replied,

"I wish I never met you."

Bus, road, and rain

A bus and road, always been very cooperative.
but now I hate them, since I could picture memories
The sweet-everyday-goodbye and all, was there on Wednesday.

I got on a bus to my West town.
But the road has managed to slow the bus down.
Then the storm came toward me, it was raining on me.
Along the road, in the bus.
They were mocking me. I knew it.

They wanted me to get off, to go back by another bus.
Another bus that says "Far far away to the East part!"
But why should I?
I'd rather cope up with the pain, than go unnoticed.

So there I was, rain on me in a bus along the road.

two years and one month

never being noticed,
always insecure

never loved, feels like standing beside a tree.
it felt so unworthy, and i felt so worthless.
waiting was the least i could do,
but it was never been in your mind.

I know you're happy now.
but no tear would drop, no more.
For you...

all bottled rage and confusion was there,
in one straight sentence I've said.
but you said, "whatever".
Always been, whatever.

And I've had enough...
Enough for you to fool me,
enough for you to trick me.
No more mercy, no more care..

for two years and one month,
You never care..

November

This is a song by Azure Ray. It is called 'November'.
How funny to find this song which is exactly the same as I feel when I look back to 4th November 2008. Painful.




So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
'till these rainy days that make them stay
And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I dont think they'll ever go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we cant go back we're on our own
Oh,
But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself
So were speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks that you're not here
And i think I'll want to be alone
So please understand if I dont answer the phone
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until I can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All my eyes can see is all I know
Ohh..
But I'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself