two years and one month

never being noticed,
always insecure

never loved, feels like standing beside a tree.
it felt so unworthy, and i felt so worthless.
waiting was the least i could do,
but it was never been in your mind.

I know you're happy now.
but no tear would drop, no more.
For you...

all bottled rage and confusion was there,
in one straight sentence I've said.
but you said, "whatever".
Always been, whatever.

And I've had enough...
Enough for you to fool me,
enough for you to trick me.
No more mercy, no more care..

for two years and one month,
You never care..

east boy

You know I always say I like you.
because you're my favorite thing about the you-named-it 'east coast'
you're the nicest thing I've ever seen

You're my favorite boy
I love your smile, your voice in the telephone when you are admired.
I admire you so much

You're the puzzle I always want to solve
and sometimes I desperately kept it shuffled.
I always want to know what you are about
even though I know in the end, I'm the one who would ruin it.

I'd never forget
how I was horrified of your look the first time we were met.
And the same look took my heart away for less than three months.
I'd never forget
how I was shocked to found out that you were smoking green
the first time I saw you on your myspace album
then I told myself that I'd be able to change you, nobody else can.
So I changed you.

How I hated the way you dress
but now I never seen anything wrong anymore
when you ask me how you look.

Without you I spend the rest of my nights awake
because you're the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep

Without you I don't want to eat anything anymore
because I want to be hospitalized
then you'd know how I would be without you.

I got my 'Pictures' folder full
of your pictures I took with my camera and from your flashdisk I gave you as a present on your 26th birth day.
I don't think I'd ever put it in the 'Recycle Bin'.
Never in a million years.

I always think of you when I see things that you like
I hate you because you are in a band (because it made me looked like some-sort-of a groupie)
I hate you when you say you can't leave the band
Because I'd see the 'old you' when you are on stage.
BecauseI'm afraid to lose you again just like when I haven't found you.

this is it !

It's about time to begin (again) from scratch
I do know where i'm standing and i was giving up
I'm finished setting my eyes on your vulnerable guts
Like I said before, I am blind from the beginning
but God never sleeps.

Wanna laugh about my word? Go ahead.
Ignorance, imitation.
It's what I'm used to
It's what you denies.

Have mercy if you feel offended.
Enjoy the stage you've always wanted.
I pray of God's protection to be nothing like you.


Bon Voyage, puppet of The Eye.

dear pupa...

In the morning i torn down my walls
which was built by you and me
through the line of our imagination.
it had withstand unassailable fights
over possession was precise.

I'm cleaning out all pictures
which meant a world to me
now stimulates me puke it all out
in front of your branded mask.

The weather even concern about complacement smile from the victor...
You are a lover of your own completeness which consumes you.
i feel so sorry.