A pseudo-cloudy dreamliness

I don't know how, but I'm on a sail

from east Cartagena, letting go of their white sandy beach

to the western seaboard of Bora Bora.

We jumped into a deep, dark, cold water.

A bermuda where nobody could enter,

protected by white walls around the sides

I could swim with you there, looking at each other
with puzzled mind, we waited for anything.

Then it's there, the hints crosses our minds like fluids.
What we were about to see.
It resides not in the palm of a glittering false holy-tree
as what they have told us,

It has waited there, and might emerge beneath the cold stoned floors
Soon.

About a love potion. About a life poison.

Oh, how nice of you to give a short reply

of my horrid insanity you found

had terrorized your lungs for as long as I live.

Why now? You grumbled. 

I know I had not been sincere,

I filled your tummy with my secrecy.

You bought it, you never asked anything about it, you said you were okay with it.

Kept spending every time and dime on me.
Then said the magic three words.

It's just a byproduct of your own choice

to self-destruct your plan. Which plan, you ask?

The plan to spend your life loving the one who loves you back.

Oh don't be such a puppy, you knew it's gonna cost so much more.

You knew when it's gone, you want more. You will follow, and it won't stop until the last breath.

And you replied,

"I wish I never met you."

Buddy part 1.

This time it's not a tale anymore..

We are young, free, and lazy

We try to be funny.

We laugh about each other's joke.

Opposites in between common things.

Heat, scent, talk, beliefs, major, marriage, food, memories, processor, intelligence, family, ... never ending list.

Eyes, hair, nose, music, beat, sleep, habit, friends, school, organizing bedroom, cartoons, Jim Carrey,... never ending list.

Attraction. Yet they are in harmony..

My weakness has gone, you're different.

Not a strength, no. Just a warm sunlight.. with that lovely summer fragrance.

I could still smell your intoxicating scent on this jacket as if you're still beside me.

Subtle, beautiful, surprisingly familiar, you.

You want to be my bestfriend forever?

Yes, I do too.

Terabaikan

Sebuah seruan berujung tangisan

tidak pernah satupun luput dari getirnya penantian

walau sempat hilang diam tak ada yang menuai arti

menumpas hitam pekat kelembutan bisikan sanubari

Seluruh dunia melahirkan satu tanda

tapi masa kini tidak ada yang mau berupaya

hanya selentik bulu mata palsu yang centil mengerling

yah, palsu.

namun ampuh membuat si biru terabai termangu

Beberapa pemuka bersyiar berkoar berkhutbah berseru

namun sinar mereka terasa semu.

Apakah puas terisi oleh hanya seutas seragammu?

Bus, road, and rain

A bus and road, always been very cooperative.
but now I hate them, since I could picture memories
The sweet-everyday-goodbye and all, was there on Wednesday.

I got on a bus to my West town.
But the road has managed to slow the bus down.
Then the storm came toward me, it was raining on me.
Along the road, in the bus.
They were mocking me. I knew it.

They wanted me to get off, to go back by another bus.
Another bus that says "Far far away to the East part!"
But why should I?
I'd rather cope up with the pain, than go unnoticed.

So there I was, rain on me in a bus along the road.

two years and one month

never being noticed,
always insecure

never loved, feels like standing beside a tree.
it felt so unworthy, and i felt so worthless.
waiting was the least i could do,
but it was never been in your mind.

I know you're happy now.
but no tear would drop, no more.
For you...

all bottled rage and confusion was there,
in one straight sentence I've said.
but you said, "whatever".
Always been, whatever.

And I've had enough...
Enough for you to fool me,
enough for you to trick me.
No more mercy, no more care..

for two years and one month,
You never care..

some words I produced on twitter when I'm down.

"I hate crying like a baby on the phone and in front of you, but how could I be strong when you're not with me?"

"i miss you, I always miss you, but you forbid me to do so, so I lie to myself and to you :("