let's just fill in the blanks...

Bus, road, and rain

2010-12-04T19:57:00.004+07:00

A bus and road, always been very cooperative.
but now I hate them, since I could picture memories
The sweet-everyday-goodbye and all, was there on Wednesday.

I got on a bus to my West town.
But the road has managed to slow the bus down.
Then the storm came toward me, it was raining on me.
Along the road, in the bus.
They were mocking me. I knew it.

They wanted me to get off, to go back by another bus.
Another bus that says "Far far away to the East part!"
But why should I?
I'd rather cope up with the pain, than go unnoticed.

So there I was, rain on me in a bus along the road.

two years and one month

2010-12-03T23:06:00.003+07:00

never being noticed,
always insecure

never loved, feels like standing beside a tree.
it felt so unworthy, and i felt so worthless.
waiting was the least i could do,
but it was never been in your mind.

I know you're happy now.
but no tear would drop, no more.
For you...

all bottled rage and confusion was there,
in one straight sentence I've said.
but you said, "whatever".
Always been, whatever.

And I've had enough...
Enough for you to fool me,
enough for you to trick me.
No more mercy, no more care..

for two years and one month,
You never care..

some words I produced on twitter when I'm down.

2010-06-08T01:54:00.002+07:00

"I hate crying like a baby on the phone and in front of you, but how could I be strong when you're not with me?"

"i miss you, I always miss you, but you forbid me to do so, so I lie to myself and to you :("

Viacom ugly toys.

2010-03-27T02:20:00.001+07:00

Spread the facts to your friends!

November

2010-02-23T22:35:00.005+07:00

This is a song by Azure Ray. It is called 'November'.
How funny to find this song which is exactly the same as I feel when I look back to 4th November 2008. Painful.

So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
'till these rainy days that make them stay
And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I dont think they'll ever go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we cant go back we're on our own
Oh,
But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself
So were speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks that you're not here
And i think I'll want to be alone
So please understand if I dont answer the phone
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until I can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All my eyes can see is all I know
Ohh..
But I'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself

Cari driver printer HP D2566 untuk Windows 7 ?

2010-02-22T06:31:00.002+07:00

Hey folks, just wanna share what I got today. Berhubung driver ini agak sulit dicari dan ternyata banyak yang nyari, saya mau share link bila anda ingin netbook ber-windows 7 anda bisa mendeteksi printer HP D2566 anda..

Just click this link.

However, saya sedang sangat mellow bulan Februari ini.. :"P ada beberapa puisi yang sedang dalam proses pembuatan dan juga pertimbangan haruskah go public atau engga. (ciaahh gaya bet)

Hope you have a great day today, coz I know I will!!
Salaam.

You like me... Not many people do. For that I thank you.. :)

2010-02-04T21:57:00.005+07:00

H: "hello soulmate"
me: "hahaha.. hello dude"
H: "lol i know.."
me: "i've just finished my dinner." ---> (have you eaten dinner?)
H: "im eating pasta"
me: "any veggies in there?"
H: "im eating more non meat foods then anything."
me: "how about eggs?"
H: "i do like omlets."
me: "my final exam of this semester will be over on this saturday..phew."
me: "omelletes"
me: "omelet" (uuurghh i forgot how to spell it!)
H: "omelet... omellete.. omelete"
me: lol
H: "either way it's good"
me: "so do u have any plan for this weekend?"
me: "(i sound like i'm about to ask u out) :P "
BUZZ!!!
me: "oh no.. don't tell me you fell asleep"

...
five minutes later
H: "im getting there.. it's 6am"
H: "sorry"
me: "you havent sleep at all?"
H: "ive been out"
me: "are u working today?"
H: no, thats why ive been out"
me: "ok. are u going to take a rest or u still have other things to do?"

(you sent me a youtube link. it was B.E.P - imma be)
H: "too bad you don't live down my street"
me: "why?"
H: "to dance"
me: "i can't.."
H: "everyone can dance. i know you can dance"
me: "i don't go to clubs or parties like that"
H: "dancing is fun"
me: "i know"
H: "i dont want to say what i want to."
me: (confused) "ok u dont have to"

H: "what are you doin?"
me: "trying to stay awake. i'm full and i'm getting sleepy
H: "then sleep"
me: "must not sleep with a full stomach"
H: "i should be asleep"
me: "then sleep, please.."

H: "you get me mad"
me: "what? what have i done?"
H: "because someone that is very kind lives so far away from me"
me: "aaaww thats really nice"
me: "are u drunk? :p "
H: "lol. why that. out of everything you think i am drunk"

(webcam)
H: "i see you"
me: "good"
H: "hello. i look horrible."
me:"you look very tired"
H: "i am. you see the bags under my eyes?
me: "yup"
H: "damn. i've been awake and working since 6am yesterday
me: "whoaa"
H: (trying to make the puff go away)
me: "that's impossible. all u have to do is sleeeeeep"
H: "hahahaha i know"
H: "well duhhh"
(vanished)

me: "wow you were vanished!!"
me: "why are u smiling like that?"
H: "cause i was watching you"
me: "i hope watching me would make u more sleepy :)) "
H: "hahaha... no. :)) least than that"
H: "you look great"

....
H: "i am gonna go to sleep"
H: "maybe ill dream of you this time"
me: "i hope it wont be a nightmare lol "
H: "i do know how to control my dreams"
H: "oh it will be lol"
me: "cool"
H: "ok so i am going to go to bed. ive benn up forever"

(wearing the big protection computer glasses)
H: "HAHAHA i can almost see myself!"
me: "this is a special glasses for computer, so u wont get ur eyes burned.
H: "oh, i thought 3D"
me: "my dad gave it to me coz i got minus 5"
me: "look now i have 6 eyes !! hahahaha..."
H: "I GOT TO GO"
me: "ya"
H: "STOOOOOP...!!"
me: (took the glasses off) ok. happy sleeping :D "
H: "you look great with your hair down. i gotta go. you can see that i am very tired. my sleep now."
H: "you look great both ways"
me: "ok... stop..lol"
H: "next time i see you we will talk"
me: "sure. imma turn the cam off"
H: "dont forget to study!"
H: "bye"
me: "tommorow is a day off, i'll be studying whole day. byeee... :) "

you signed out. (04/02/2010 21:55)

east boy

2010-01-19T01:48:00.004+07:00

You know I always say I like you.
because you're my favorite thing about the you-named-it 'east coast'
you're the nicest thing I've ever seen

You're my favorite boy
I love your smile, your voice in the telephone when you are admired.
I admire you so much

You're the puzzle I always want to solve
and sometimes I desperately kept it shuffled.
I always want to know what you are about
even though I know in the end, I'm the one who would ruin it.

I'd never forget
how I was horrified of your look the first time we were met.
And the same look took my heart away for less than three months.
I'd never forget
how I was shocked to found out that you were smoking green
the first time I saw you on your myspace album
then I told myself that I'd be able to change you, nobody else can.
So I changed you.

How I hated the way you dress
but now I never seen anything wrong anymore
when you ask me how you look.

Without you I spend the rest of my nights awake
because you're the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep

Without you I don't want to eat anything anymore
because I want to be hospitalized
then you'd know how I would be without you.

I got my 'Pictures' folder full
of your pictures I took with my camera and from your flashdisk I gave you as a present on your 26th birth day.
I don't think I'd ever put it in the 'Recycle Bin'.
Never in a million years.

I always think of you when I see things that you like
I hate you because you are in a band (because it made me looked like some-sort-of a groupie)
I hate you when you say you can't leave the band
Because I'd see the 'old you' when you are on stage.
BecauseI'm afraid to lose you again just like when I haven't found you.

Dedicated to all my friends and enemies...

2009-11-19T16:22:00.003+07:00

I want to train myself to be like my mother in heart, and like my father in logic. I want to have my mom's intelligence and my father's luck. I dont need to be compared, nor judged. I just need to learn. And I expect my friends to help me out.

bulb

2009-11-03T22:13:00.003+07:00

Imagine when you can't shut your eyes,

your mind,

your heart.

Happens all night,

wasting your life.

You run to your love, but

your loved one is asleep.

You run to your friends, but

afraid to be a burden.

And then you send messages

to the old friend who once loved you.

He responds, because he'd always do.

But he can't help you because you feel nothing

He can't save you anymore

Because your love is asleep.

2 November 2009

2009-11-03T22:11:00.003+07:00

New love, new life, new you

adventure, mystery.

a game cannot be undo.

Might think it was true

until loneliness distracting you

Wishes to feel brand new,

was just a hopeless dream you can't pursue

pale love

2009-11-03T22:07:00.003+07:00

Let's talk about secret love,

about self-destruction

it haunts every piece of you.

Pieces that shattered all over your bedroom floor.

Cold and moist,

behold.

Young adults will get lost!

ticking clock

2009-07-14T10:30:00.004+07:00

it's just absurd how this agenda carried us away,
further, further
from our roots and our pray
life will end, and I'm still a coward
not because it ends,
it's because i am

I know seemingly,
the path that i should choose
but let go sincerely still mean hurting
and perplexing
but this is the only way.
What will you do if you were me?

am i an egoist
when i run from what i love
when the love itself conviniently destructs me?

This what disturbs me every night,
This what have been puzzling me since 16
so please be sincere to me,
otherwise you're killing me

this is it !

2009-06-21T18:55:00.008+07:00

It's about time to begin (again) from scratch
I do know where i'm standing and i was giving up
I'm finished setting my eyes on your vulnerable guts
Like I said before, I am blind from the beginning
but God never sleeps.

Wanna laugh about my word? Go ahead.
Ignorance, imitation.
It's what I'm used to
It's what you denies.

Have mercy if you feel offended.
Enjoy the stage you've always wanted.
I pray of God's protection to be nothing like you.

Bon Voyage, puppet of The Eye.

dear pupa...

2009-04-30T06:20:00.004+07:00

In the morning i torn down my walls
which was built by you and me
through the line of our imagination.
it had withstand unassailable fights
over possession was precise.

I'm cleaning out all pictures
which meant a world to me
now stimulates me puke it all out
in front of your branded mask.

The weather even concern about complacement smile from the victor...
You are a lover of your own completeness which consumes you.
i feel so sorry.

Saturday Night Feast

2009-04-30T06:11:00.000+07:00

Tonight with no gleam, no gingerly sound.

Another exam for both fidelity behind the infinite silence.

I swear i hate every seconds u bargain for.

Suppose i should supersede my nimble mind currently working on identity.

But YOU are my weakness.

Life is another lesson.

I want a platonic this, unlike your strenuously other.

I write lines for u to read but u dont listen. Could we even overhaul?

Confused Cheek

2009-01-04T23:20:00.000+07:00

He is two years past his teenage years

Nothing can stop him,

no one can defeat him

Wakes up as a new man, with confidence

and stomach filled with Mom's cooking

Go upstairs again to play with the machine.

Five, six, seven hours he spends everyday.

Eat for nothing, play with no one

Sometimes he blowsout, blame it all to himself,

to us, to God.

We could only pray, wait patiently

about what he is going to do next

He is two years past his teenage years

Nothing can stop him,

no one can defeat him...

unhappines

2009-01-04T23:11:00.001+07:00

Having a jewel that cannot be worn

Having a sweater that you can't put on

Eating a candy floss, but it tastes bitter

Listening to music, but it sound silence

Gather with your friends, and you feel alone

Scream your heart out, yet nothing came out.

Hilang arah

2008-12-26T02:15:00.000+07:00

Seraya berkata manis pada relung

yang bertautan dengan jiwa

Sang Terkasih.

Aku hilang arah untuk menuju surga-Mu

Tak seperti waktu api itu belum berkilat-kilat

di ambang penuh pesona.

Belum ada jeritan, rintihan, isakan.

Lalu apa lagi sekarang?

Pemandangan satir?

Laboratorium cinta?

Atau musuh setia?

Ah, kapan badai akan tenang?

Mungkin hanya saat nama aku dan ayah,

diukir dalam batu indah di atas kepalaku.

25 Desember 2008 (2:40 am)

Platform 2, to you...

2008-12-25T10:02:00.003+07:00

I feel so shallow, so dumb

Dumber that your admirers

How can i fall for you?

People asked.

I swallow what i used to spit

Strangest things happens to me

the more i move to contradiction

I'm thinking how to get to you,

when i'm suppose to push the shutter.

Two hours before the writing exam

2008-11-24T13:19:00.000+07:00

an ignorance a slight pretend,
i gave it all when you pick me up last night.
funny notes you thrown at class
made me feel the one you ever like.

this isn't what i ever dream
to be your first ever girl friend
we do have fun when ride the bike
we do have tears when the rain falls down

you were a kid, i was too smart
you've become a man, i became a child
but things would never be the same

this isn't what i ever dream
to be your final goal of life.

pasrah

2008-11-23T16:07:00.001+07:00

I don't capture as perfect as you

My camera is the one i can put inside my pocket

Objects i take may not grab anyone's attention

And i know i'm not a photo-catcher

And i know i'm not a good poet

I am what i imagine to be.

2008-11-09T10:24:00.000+07:00

Please come and enjoy the hard music of youth at Dejavu cafe on 30 November 2008. I will be playing with my band, Machine Mercury . SOo, if you guys wanna check out how i mess up a gig, this is a lifetime chance to mock me. hehehe.. :p

grain heart

2008-10-19T11:29:00.001+07:00

without knowing about me jaded
it damage the basic instict
precisely wasn't my time to held
then, i feel more and more solid

to win the things but grain in your eyes,
i pray for blustery, felt fine about my hope
i guess the month changed and u knew exactly would

right here behind dust and shadows,
was your grain heart i couldn't conquer.

get lost!

2008-10-19T11:17:00.001+07:00

i asked you to follow my steps

i let you a million times,
i asked nothing but to follow my steps
did u follow my steps?

we're not dreaming like we used to
now it's a tragedy, that u and me
won't be as the notebook story

singing our memories, i learnt something
raping the cells, taste the raped fruit
makes me sick.

a new paragraph

2008-10-07T21:56:00.000+07:00

"miiaw, i'm Mrs. Supini's lovelycat"

Dear reader(s),

Welcome to my blog. This one is new, fresh, just came out from my unbottled desire to tell some story, poems written by my own hand (or typed by me.. at least i made the poem), beautiful views i see from both of my eyes. Thank God my eyes are still working, despite the fact that i wear a pair of-so-thick-glasses. :(

I'm going to post this blog whenever i get the chance and the material. I promise to check all the spelling, grammar, and the words before i post. This is not about being a perfectionist, this is about trying to be a true and dedicated student. (I'm recently in bachelor degree of English Literature).

Please do not hesitate to give any comment, opinion, and input for the Blog's sake! I'm just an ordinary human being who make mistakes, yes?

Ookeydonkey.. I guess that's all for today!! Stay alive to some updates! Cheerio!! :D